Texas Bob's .40 Caliber Super Bowl Chili

2 lbs. hamburger (lean or chuck - depends on if the wife's buyin' the ingredients or you are)
1 lb. hot breakfast sausage (I like Owens. Use Jennie-O turkey sausage if you're a Leviticus 11:7 or Deuteronomy 14:8 kinda guy)
2 cans whole peeled tomatos 28oz., undrained, chopped
3 cans kidney beans 16 oz., don't drain
3 onions, medium, chopped
1 Chili Fixin's kit - Carroll Shelby, Six-Gun or similar. It should contain the following or close to it:
- 1/4 cup chili powder
- 1 tblsp.cumin
- 1 tsp. salt, or garlic salt
- 2 tbsp. all purpose flour or masa flour
- 1 tbsp. oregano
- 1 tbsp. cayenne pepper
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 green bell pepper
1 Tbs Sugar
1 jar banana pepper rings, 16 oz.
6 fresh serrano peppers, sliced (opt.)
Tabasco or your favorite Mexican hot sauce.
2 pkg. Shredded cheddar cheese 8oz. per pkg.
1 Sour cream (16oz) container
Hard bread rolls. Package of enough so everyone can have at least two.
6 - 12 Ice cold beers - your favorite or WOS (what's on sale)

Crack open one of them beers, let's get started!
Chop the garlic
Chop the onions, don't cry if you're a man.
Drink some of that beer, splash a little on your face just in case your eyes are waterin'

Chop the serranos. Try not to scratch that itchy nose or your eyes. You'll regret it. Set aside to add later.

Open the tomatos, use a sharp knife to chop them while they're still in the can. They're slippery & make a mess if you take them out. Don’t wear yourself out. You're going to cook these long enough to decompose anyway. Just do it until you want a drink of beer, longer if ladies is watchin'. They love to watch a man workin' with dangerous equipment in the kitchen.

Combine hamburger, sausage, onion & garlic in a fryin' pan. Put a lid on it if you have one. It'll show consideration for the woman whose kitchen you're messin' up.

Cook until meat is getting brown, stirring often 'til crumbled (this is important, make sure the meat is in little pieces). Add chopped onions & garlic when you darn well feel like it. Continue browning.

You on beer #2 yet? If not, you're slackin'.

Drain the grease if women folk are around, just keep cookin' 'til dry otherwise. Remove lid to cook 'til dry.

In 6 qt. pot, dump above ingredients (meat, onions, garlic) & add tomatos & beans.
Add all the beans. (don't drain, you want the toots in there too don't you?) Actually you need the fluid. Stir.

Add Chili Fixin's to taste (not too hot for the women & rugrats - go easy on the cayenne or save for later)

Pour 1 beer into the pot. C'mon it needs some fluid. If you can't bring yourself to sacrifice one, pour in 8-12 oz. of water.

Simmer (this means on med-low setting) for about 60 minutes.
Add sugar. Stir.

Rinse frying pan and chopping utensils, etc. Clean up any messes or drips you've made. Remember, this ain't your kitchen. If you want to be invited back, don't let your mess override the tastiness of your chili.

Stir occasionally when you think about it. This gives you an opportunity to taste test & add ingredients as your mood moves you.

After about 30 minutes, pour in some of that beer you've been workin' on. This makes you look like a gourmet chef. Be sure to raise the bottle 6-8 inches above the pot as you pour.
After about 30 more minutes (60 total), dip enough chili out into another pot to feed the weak paletted and girly-men.

You are makin' your way through that six-pack, aren't you? Cowboy up!

Add the cayenne pepper. Stir. Send buddies for more beer.
Add some or all of the jar of banana pepper rings. That's right all of it. No, don't drain it, add the juice too. Stir.

Add chopped fresh serrano peppers, if you chose that option. Stir. Add beer if the spirit moves you.

Add Tabasco or your favorite Mexican hot sauce to taste. Stir. Add more beer if you're feelin' frisky.

Add flour and stir until chili firms up. Leave lid off pot for this.

Serve in bowls, of course. Sprinkle cheddar cheese on top, add a spoon or two of sour cream. Eat with hard bread rolls.

Makes about 5 quarts. If you have leftovers, freeze it. It's great to pull this out on a cold winter day when no one wants to cook.


(Oh yeah, throw the green bell pepper back in the fridge for the wife's salad tomorrow. No self-respectin' Texan would even consider addin' a green bell pepper to his chili.)

Submitted by: Bob Radcliff - UCG Houston North